Day 4

May 15, 2024

its already the 15th...T^T

Day 3

April 30, 2024

I deserve my own assurance for doing so well this month

Day 2

April 26, 2024

I watched Kamikaze Girls

Day 1

April 23, 2024

I was reading a manga yesterdy night, Im trying to keep my bedtime schedule so Im not awake after 12am. The manga was too good...!! I love the author...///♥ Probably going to read more of theirs!!!

Day 13

Mar 27, 2024

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Planning for Festa ♥ Neo Cities Update ♥ Photo Storage cleaning ♥ PC Building ♥ Update Mood Board♥

Day 12

Mar 26, 2024

Getting ready to go home, I wanna get to home asap.

Day 11

Mar 25, 2024

Went to go see some places. Best decision ever. I don`t like drinking.

Day 10

Mar 24, 2024

I didnt have much to do besides recovering so I worked a day at the maid cafe.

Day 9

Mar 23, 2024

Cosplay Events

I noticed that alot of cosplayers around know me from Tiktok

Day 8

Mar 22, 2024

Went to gallery again. Maybe my friends are depressing, kinda want to stay away.

Day 7

Mar 21, 2024

My friend and I were going to a opening party but we cancelled, so we stopped by a cafe. I ODed and talked to my room mate till 6am. Really great conversations.

Day 6

Mar 20, 2024

Lucid Dreaming

My world right now, sounds too good to be true. And the best part is that it`s true. I`m so greatful that everyone around me is happy. Riding the bus felt like a transition. The Shinjuku station felt so nostalgic but fresh. I feel like the parallel world me that graduated school, had a cosplay hobby, with a fanclub, and came to Tokyo as an otaku to cosplay. All of my dreams come true. And I know how to escape from a dream too. I`ll still have fun in each dreem tho.

Everything comes together in the perfect way always. I will always love you, forever and ever...

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Drawing for Festa ♥ Neo Cities Update ♥ Photo Storage cleaning ♥

Day 5

Mar 19, 2024

Dreaming

On the bus. I texted a lot of friends. I was almost losing myself but, I took some dxm and it was the best choice ever.

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Photo Edits 2 ♥ Replying to Messeges ♥ Polaroids ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Drawing for Festa ♥ Neo Cities Update ♥ Photo Storage cleaning ♥ Updating Sites ♥

Day 4

Mar 18, 2024

Dreaming

The last thing I remember is that I was running to a print shop to print my photobooks. But, they turned out mid. So、 I chose to leave them for next time.

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Photo Edits 2 ♥ Replying to Messeges ♥ Polaroids ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Drawing for Festa ♥ Neo Cities Update ♥ Photo Storage cleaning ♥ Updating Sites ♥

Day 3

Mar 17, 2024

Dreaming

I think, I was editing photos

♥ Photo Edits 2 ♥ Replying to Messeges ♥ Polaroids ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Drawing for Festa ♥ Neo Cities Update ♥ Photo Storage cleaning ♥ Updating Sites ♥

Day 2

Mar 16, 2024

Does anyone care. I do.

I woke up to a message reminding me to send in photos for a photobook. I really wasn`t feeling like selecting 30 photos from a 200~ stack of photos... I was about to go crazy and ignore everyone but, I took a Opiod and listened to a motivational video. Numbed it out. Grind it out. I ordered a storage usb for my past photos too... It feels so good to organize. I noticed how low effort I was putting in my sites, I need to upgrading my skill sets. I hope I can focus on it after the event... The posting button on my instagram, X, and sites felt heavier then ever without ... but, it`s the actually weight I needed to move forward.

Now I don`t feel like sleeping

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Photo Edits 2 ♥ Replying to Messeges ♥ Polaroids ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Drawing for Festa ♥ Neo Cities Update ♥ Photo Storage cleaning ♥ Updating Sites ♥

Day 1

Mar 15, 2024

Recovering

Yesterday, I feel asleep at 9pm because I noticed while smoking how clustered my mind was and how it was affecting my body and mind. I slowly rereconized my situation and thoughts. After that, I melted like ice cream on the bed. I ended up posting a photo I took when we were doing great to show how much I`m greatful and thankful. Today, I woke and organized a bit of my packages. I almost felt like crying looking at nice things so I wanted to keep them as they are or even better, giving them a nice bed. To keep the memorizes nostalgic.

I keep asking myself who`s gonna be proud of myself if it`s not...., I`ll be proud of myself and all my fans will be! I don`t have to worry, it`s gonna be amazing. Don`t worry. Just keep believing in yourself.

Coincidentally, my school final test wasn`t able to open up for the teacher, maybe it`s a sign to recheck my paper just in case. I think I should.

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Photo Edits 2 ♥ Replying to Messeges ♥ Polaroids ♥ Sewing Original Cosplay Outfit for Design Festa♥ Drawing for Festa ♥ Neo Cities ♥

Prologgg

Mar 14, 2024

I can`t just be sitting here hoping for things to work out it`s self. I`m the one who can only work out everything truely. I paid my taxes and it felt to GOOD. Wow I can`t believe how much I grew. I feel like I want to do my cosplay more... fashionish...　I finally did ♥TikTok Monitization, giving myself a break.

♥ Photo Edits 1 ♥ Photo Edits 2 ♥ Replying to Messeges ♥ Polaroids ♥ Sewing ♥ Drawing ♥ Neo Cities ♥

100%

Mar 2, 2024

I just submitted my last piece of school work... I`m listening to Angel Beats op, it reminds me of America school days. To be honest, I can`t believe myself that I could do it. I still can`t believe I did it. It had been sitting in the corner of my brain for more then 5 years. I`m so thankful of myself and everyone who supported me through this. In the beginning, I thought my sweet heart would hold my hand through doing it but, oh boy how foolish of me. I only had myself. No one really cared about it as much as I did but duhhhh. I learned that I only have myself in this world that cares as much as doing my whole school work. But, still I had two people help me through this all. I will remember them forever. I`m about to cry alone with mixed feeling. I deserve the world of happiness and freedom.

98%

Mar 1, 2024

96%

Feb 29, 2024

92%

Feb 28, 2024

88%

Feb 27, 2024

They came in my life like a magical girl and took away all my sadness, worries, burden, and filled me up with love. They took my hand like Haruhi and started running off to experience the beauty of this world that I could only day dream through seeing anime. They took all my pain in my heart and turned it into strength and laughter. They taught me how to give a real hug and how it heals many hearts. Even in my deepest dives of dim thoughts their voice still reaches me and always pulls me out of any darkness. They feel so good like a lover, friend, brother, dad, mother, grandfather, and many more all in one body. It almost feels like a sin to only keep them to me. They should be shared to the world and not just me.

84%

Feb 26, 2024

79%

Feb 25, 2024

76%

Feb 24, 2024

A New Breath

Feb 22, 2024

A new life, costs an old life

I`m starting to sell my belongings. I think it`s because I`m getting over the "feeling"

I feel like taking some photos again so I`m probably gonna be active again on my social media. I wonder what I`ll get over if I do dxm while taking lewd stuff haha.

"Get Over" the feeling

Feb 21, 2024

...

As I thought to myself "Have I been trying to love myself as how my breeder has taught me to love". What works for other people doesn`t nessarialy work for me and my life.

I finished 3 classes and took a break. I think on the 19th I took 7 Dxm tables and started working on my school wokrk and realised why everytime it took me a while to even start. I came to the conclusion that, I was taught that choosing to putting effort would always pay off. Although, I still think that`s true I don`t think I exactly chose the road having a life that school work pays off... And I think that`s why my pride and words of my breeders would make me feel like I`m doing something wronge to be doing school work right now... To "get over", that feeling was probably the lesson my school work I had to learn.

Karin x Toki

Feb 20, 2024

Blue Archieve Cosplay...

I had my first cosplay photoshoot with another person!!! She was very nice and of course she was so used to being taked photos of. It was a big learning day for me...! As we talked snd got to know each other I felt like we were the same... How we came to Japan and persude things that made us happy.

I`m actually playing the game blue archieve a lot on my own and its giving me a time to just relax. I`m starting to want to cosplay more... Thinking of getting Iori cosplay.

Believe

Feb 19, 2024

No matter how much I take a break, no maatter what holds me down, no matter who puts me down. Im not gonna lose.

The effort I put in myself will never betray me and all the experiences will always live in me. no matter how much I take a break I will always rise up even higher.

Lolita Fashion Show

Feb 18, 2024

Omg it`s already the 18th. I didnt even notice. It was lovely!!!

Inspiring

I need sleep asap

Tea Party

Feb 17, 2024

Mmm

I think I should finish my school work asap lol

Things I want to learn

♥Time Management

♥Asap Mentality

♥Not being controled by mood and motivation

♥TikTok Monitization

I was sitting in my seat at the lolita teaparty and I looked around myself... of course, I had fun. The desserts were nice. To be honest, I felt like there was more in me that I wanted to do then go to a tea party. Im also going to the lolita fashion show tomorrow for my first time!

Im starting to feel like no matter what I do that I like... if Im not focused on my actual important things, it`s hard to feel joy from them. Im too sleepy Good Night zzZ

Hospital & Sleepy

Feb 15, 2024

zzZ

It was so hard getting out of bed today but I got help lol

Went to my hospital appointment, went to hair salon for the free treatment (declined), went back to house, and organized my loft.

As the loft cleans up, I feel like I mentally feel better too. Anyways, I replied to some and I`m about to go send out some things AND THEN maybe I`ll edit some videos + list things+ high school AHHHHH

Valentine`s Day

Feb 14, 2024

...

I woke up at 5pm, I was sending messages and order documents the night before.

I was watching the anime "7th Time Loop", I LOvE it. And if you read this dont talk to me about it because Im probaby fantasizing it for a while till the anime season ends.

I also did my nails!! Im happy I got done with that. Im getting ready for my next cosplay event. Also, a week ago we started listing things on Merucari, theyre selling! I wanna list more

High School

Feb 13, 2024

...

I did a bit of my high school class today!

I started writing my manifestations

Figure Stand

Feb 12, 2024

...

My hormal mood swings have kicked in BUT this time I havent let it affect me!!!

I actually learned that caffine and alchol was bad for hormones so I quit caffine from the beginning of this month.

I think I`m on a good one!! When I was on a walk today, I saw a ad on a beauty salon for a permanent straightening hair model (free straightening!!!). They only let people in on Wednesday~Friday so Im gonna try seeing them~. We went to the home center for making a figure stand for me.

I organized my documents!!

Wonder Festival

Feb 11, 2024

Figure Land...

I was madly inspired of the figures I saw !! I wanna be so visually pleasing as a figure. Out of the world type...

Im thinking of looking for a figure stand for me...

Also, I`m thinking of learnign how to use Photoshop

I got a spot for a photo shoot but Im not so sure if I should take it...! But, why not !?

Ahhhh

Feb 10, 2024

Hospital

I had an all nighter making my chocolate and a hospital appointment from 11:30am...Also, had to edit some photos due today. And!!! I went to my maid work at 5pm. T^T

I was kinda grumpy in the morning cuz of my all nighter and due date that I almost made a big lash out but I saved myself... It wasnt that bad. I do need to maintain my emotions.

Organizing & Piercing

Feb 9, 2024

I`m going to put myself in a position where I need to focus on positive, diligence, and maintaining

I remember staying all night up this day. Cleaning and organizing my loft.

I was opening boxes up that I`d even forgotten what was inside. It felt amazing!! I decided optimize more things so I could leave for anything anytime. Going to Evies mental hospital let me realise how important it is.

I was up the whole night that day. I suddenly wanted to make a move towards my ear piercing goal too.. I feel like I would remember the motive in me everytime I care for the piercing... So I got it!! I fell alseep and the I made some cigarette chocolates for my maid cafe

I did a class for my high school!!

Feeling Better, Being Better, Being Divine

Feb 8, 2024

From Today... Im going to do one thing that makes me feel better

I really think I have the power to make things better, feel better.

Just like how I manifested to get here (putting in literal work in me)

Im going make a affirmation page and my vision board page... This will be my getting better diary

The Opposite of Hurting

Feb 6, 2024

Focus energy in the thought of what is that I truely want

I felt hopeless in my dream. So hopeless that it changed me as a person in reality. To just surrender... Whats the meaning about fighting... Let me take every sign from the universe that is trying to fix me...

I was watching this video today.

I learned to not trust my mind from everything, sometimes or most of the time my mind is in a bad habit of putting energy in the negative.

What is hurting me the most and what is the opposite... thats what I want and thats where I should focus my attention

Friendship & Maids

Feb 4, 2024

Akihabara & Panties

Last night I stayed at Evees mental hospital, we woke up and drank some green tea together. There were panties I wanted to get so we headed to Akihabara. I had some maiding I had to do so I hurried to Heavens Office. The night at Heaven Office was a memorable too but I will tell about that another time.

Missing

Feb 3, 2024

Staying at Evees Mental Hospital

I had come back to home from a date with a maid friend. Coming back to my home didnt feel so good so I asked Evee if I could stay at her place. gladly she gave me a place to stay for the night. After that night I felt really better, so we decided to go out for a bit to Nakano Broadway. After splitting with Evee I had went to Ikebukuro to find some parts for my next cosplay. Right now, Im at Evees place tonight too. Good Night and sweet dreams to everyone. I miss my fiance. Im sure he is missing me more but, its for the best of us...

Good morining

Feb 1, 2024

My Beef Bowl

Hi...I finally am able to write something...I started neo cities because of my friends Evee and doma... Ive been wanting to try a platform like this all the time. Its so fun coding and seeing my website made into something from scratch. I always tend to like things made from scratch. So this is my first diary edit.